Catching up? Not hardly.

I decided that I should just forget the idea of catching up on the junk I haven't written. To summarize, over the last couple of weeks I've had constant pain (the normal stuff) mingled with intermittent bouts of pretty severe pain. There was one time since i last wrote that I was VERY close to going to the hospital. I didn't because my two older nieces were visiting and that would not be very much fun for them. I just did the whole pain reliever and don't eat things for a day or so until I was feeling better.

People often ask how I am feeling and I usually just tell them that I am okay. I don't think they really want to hear the truth. It is just one of those questions they ask to be polite. I don't know that telling them I feel bad most of the time would help anything anyway. It would only make them feel uncomfortable or make them want to avoid me. It's not like there is anything they can do to help me feel better. So my answer is that I am feeling okay or fine.

Actually, I guess it is all relative. When they ask me my pain level at the hospital, I have never said ten. They describe ten as the worst pain imaginable. Well, I happen to have a pretty good imagination. Regardless of how bad the pain is, it could always be exacerbated if someone were to stab me or smack me with a hammer or something. I have a fairly high tolerance for pain. After all, I had all but one of my children naturally. That hurt pretty badly, but even that would never be a ten. Something could make the pain be worse. Actually, some of my bouts of pancreatitis are worse than labor. At least during labor, there is a chance to breathe a little bit between the contractions.

Hmmmm....this is kind of a downer post. I really do not feel bad emotionally. I don't feel discouraged or anything except when I am feeling really bad. I do feel a little stressed, but that is due to a combination of factors; not just my pancreatitis. Actually, my doctor has mentioned that she thinks I am depressed. I need to find out why she feels that way. If I am depressed, I am not aware of it.