skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I think I have mentioned a couple of times that when I am having an acute attack of pancreatitis, part of the treatment is to abstain from consuming food or liquids for a while. You would think that this would make me nice and skinny, but NO! I am not nice and skinny. In fact, unless I don't eat for several days, I do not lose any weight. I think that this may be due in part to the fact that I normally (during the school year) only eat one meal a day. I think that this has helped to slow my metabolism a bit because when I do eat more often (during the summer for example) I gain weight. I know that all the studies out there say that you should eat breakfast and if you want to skip a meal it should be later in the day. I do not skip breakfast because I am dieting, even though I should be. I just don't eat in the morning because eating=pain. I always have more pain shortly after I eat. The pain doesn't usually become severe, but sometimes it does. When I have things I need to do or places I need to go, I do not have the luxury of eating first because I am afraid that it will hurt. Depending on the severity of the pain, it could effect my ability to do the things I need to do. I eat after the kids go home for the day and I eat something for dinner. In the summer I eat more often because I can stay at home when it hurts too much.What I eat:I used to really be a junk food person. My weakness was sweets. Now I don't really eat that many sweets, I just enjoy them more when I do. I do like to snack a lot on sunflower seeds. That may not be the best choice of snacks because of the fat in them, but the salt seems to help settle my stomach a little. Did I mention that I am constantly nauseated? Zofran helps with that when it gets bad. Recently, I have been eating a really delicious salad. The main ingredients are fresh spinach and berries (usually strawberries or raspberries). That sounds pretty benign. Ha! Well, I don't stop there. Then I add feta cheese, slivered almonds, and a poppy seed dressing. YUM!!! I eat this at least once a day now. I would eat it all the time if I could. That salad and sunflower seeds are the main staples of my diet right now. As always, I take my enzymes every time I am going to eat. I don't really drink soda very often. I actually prefer water. Since it is summer, I have been getting a lot of slushes at Sonic. I am ashamed to say that I get at least one a week. Okay, that is enough writing for now. I better go and get some actual work done around here. I will write more later.
I decided that I should just forget the idea of catching up on the junk I haven't written. To summarize, over the last couple of weeks I've had constant pain (the normal stuff) mingled with intermittent bouts of pretty severe pain. There was one time since i last wrote that I was VERY close to going to the hospital. I didn't because my two older nieces were visiting and that would not be very much fun for them. I just did the whole pain reliever and don't eat things for a day or so until I was feeling better.People often ask how I am feeling and I usually just tell them that I am okay. I don't think they really want to hear the truth. It is just one of those questions they ask to be polite. I don't know that telling them I feel bad most of the time would help anything anyway. It would only make them feel uncomfortable or make them want to avoid me. It's not like there is anything they can do to help me feel better. So my answer is that I am feeling okay or fine. Actually, I guess it is all relative. When they ask me my pain level at the hospital, I have never said ten. They describe ten as the worst pain imaginable. Well, I happen to have a pretty good imagination. Regardless of how bad the pain is, it could always be exacerbated if someone were to stab me or smack me with a hammer or something. I have a fairly high tolerance for pain. After all, I had all but one of my children naturally. That hurt pretty badly, but even that would never be a ten. Something could make the pain be worse. Actually, some of my bouts of pancreatitis are worse than labor. At least during labor, there is a chance to breathe a little bit between the contractions.Hmmmm....this is kind of a downer post. I really do not feel bad emotionally. I don't feel discouraged or anything except when I am feeling really bad. I do feel a little stressed, but that is due to a combination of factors; not just my pancreatitis. Actually, my doctor has mentioned that she thinks I am depressed. I need to find out why she feels that way. If I am depressed, I am not aware of it.
I realized after typing the previous post that it sounded a little negative about the medical professionals. Generally, I do not have negative feelings about them. It is just very frustrating to go to the ER. I realize that they know the normal causes of pancreatitis so that is what they look for. I just wish they would take what I am saying at face value.
My personal doctor is actually amazing. I just love her! She never is condescending towards me. She is very kind and compassionate. Most importantly, she believes me when I tell her what is wrong. She is also my children's doctor and she is great with them as well. I have actually been at her office with my children for THEIR appointments and she will ask about me. I usually try not to discuss any problems I am having at the time because I am not paying her for an appointment for me at that time and I don't want to be a big time drain for her. But that is how she is...kind, caring, and concerned. When I am in the hospital, she actually talks to me and listens. She does not just run in and run out. I am not just some medical condition to her, I am a person and she genuinely seems to care about me. I am lucky to have her as my doctor and my friend.
No, I'm not going to the hospital, but sometimes I do. I normally take the measures listed below first to see if they help. I will try lying on my stomach with a pillow against it or lying in the fetal position with the pillow. If that doesn't help, I will move on to a heating pad. I don't know if there is any medical evidence that this helps, but it seems to ease the pain a bit for me sometimes. If that doesn't help make the pain where I can tolerate it, or the pain gets to a level where I might consider going to the hospital, I will usually take one or two of my lortab pills. I normally just take two. The prescription says to take one, but I have found out that one doesn't usually cut it and I don't want to wait around for the pain to stop when I know it isn't going to. Then I assume the position (see previous sentences) to wait for the meds to kick in. If that doesn't work, I will often take percocet. I don't know if this is stronger, but it seems to do the trick a little better. I think it is stronger because it does not have a refill and the lortab will have one refill. Maybe it just works better because by the time I take it, I have already taken the lortab as well. Who knows? I do know that people get addicted to pain meds fairly easily. You read about it all the time. So I have a certain fear/respect for pain meds. I do not want to become one of those people, so I will not take them unless I know I will be going to the hospital otherwise.
As I mentioned, sometimes the meds don't help enough and I actually do go to the hospital. I hate going there because I sometimes feel like the doctors and nurses think I am "faking" the pain so I can get drugs. They seem skeptical about it when I tell them it's my pancreas...like I'm some idiot that doesn't know what I am talking about. I also feel like they think I am lying when I tell them I haven't had anything to drink and that I don't drink. One time after going to the ER and telling them all of this, they told me I needed to stop drinking. When they do believe that I don't drink, they will suggest that it is my gall bladder...which I do not have. When I inform them of this, they will suggest that maybe a stone is "still" lodged in there from when they took it out. I will then tell them there is no stone; there never were any stones. The stupid thing just wasn't functioning the way it was supposed to. At some point, they will finally draw some blood to check my enzyme levels. Elevated lipase and amylase levels are a sign that you have pancreatitis. Quite frequently, my levels are not high. This fact reinforces the medical personnel's belief that I am trying to get drugs. The funny thing is that the first time I was admitted to the hospital with pancreatitis, my levels were not very high either. The next day they were higher and I was moved to the ICU from my room. My levels are not usually high at the onset of the pain. If the levels rise, it is several hours after the initial pain. It's frustrating! The ironic thing about this is that I DON'T LIKE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL. I always try pain management things at home first. The hospital is the last resort for me. I hate it when these people who don't even know me act as if I am over-reacting. When I went to the hospital and was subsequently admitted for a week in March, the ER doctor was going to send me home. I heard her talking about it to the nurses. (It's funny that the medical people seem to think that you can't hear what they are saying if they are standing on the other side of the curtain. Come on, people! It's a curtain, not a door!) I started crying because I knew I was ill and needed help. Fortunately for me a nurse stepped behind the curtain at that point, saw me, and went right out to the doctor and told her she REALLY thought I should be admitted. The ER doctor reluctantly admitted me. I have not had good experiences with the ER and that is why I really do not go to the hospital unless I feel there is no other alternative.
Did I mention that I really like to sleep in? Ha! It is 6:15 a.m. right now during summer vacation and I am awake. Once again, my pancreas and I are at odds. I am extremely nauseated and hurting quite a bit. I am at my parent's house visiting so I wil have to try to mask the pain as much as possible. For now, I am just taking Zofran for the nausea. If the pain becomes unbearable, I will have to take something stronger than just nausea medication. The prescription pain meds and I have a love-hate relationship.I do like the fact that they can lessen the pain to a level where it can be tolerated. Once, the percocet actually made the pain completely stop hurting! It was amazing! I hate how the meds make me feel otherwise. I feel very groggy and am not really "with it" when I take it, but it also makes me unable to sleep-which is particularly bad at night. On the other hand, would I rather be awake and in severe pain or awake and feeling weird? Given the options, I'll pick weird. I do worry that these meds are damaging my liver. My pancreas is already causing me problems. I do not need to add liver problems into the mix. Okay, enough writing. I am going to try holding a pillow tightly against my abdomen and lying still. I am sick of this stupid pancreas.
11:00 a.m.-I guess I will try taking one lortab and see if that helps.
In case you haven't noticed, I am not exactly writing these things as they are happening. I actually started out by writing a pancreatitis journal and then decided after the fact to create a blog. For now, I am trying to just get my journal typed in here. After I get caught up, I plan to do most of my writing here. So while I am actually writing this in July, these things occurred in June.
I was still feeling worse than usual since Friday. I slept in and woke up with that familiar pain. It was worse than usual, but not as bad as it had been on Friday. I took the kids to church at 2:00. The pain was getting worse and finally, about halfway through, I actually left to run home and take some lortab. That took the edge off the pain and I returned to church. I didn't eat for the rest of the day. I was still hurting, but not enough to justify taking more pain meds. The heating pad helped make the pain manageable. I went to bed earlier than usual.
